OK, so I lied ...

I know that I said I was only doing this to post a reply (to my friend Pavy's blog), but I'm in a contemplative mood right now, having returned home from a trip that made me both incredibly happy and incredibly sad. I went to Los Angeles this weekend to watch my friends graduate and to visit the ones who stayed there after they graduated last year. It was the most fun I've had in a really long time; yet when I think about it, I didn't actually do much of anything.

On Friday, Eddie picked me up from the airport and we went to Brockton. When we arrived, a sleepy Oliver emerged from his room, saying, "I recognize that laugh." That's what I love most about my friends from college: They really know me. They're like the family I chose. My roommates from Strathmore, Ray, Tim, Oli, and Eddie, are some of the funniest, nicest people I know. They're my boys. I mean, it's not like I own them, but I am very protective of them. Sharonita is always down to party. And Grace -- what can I say about Grace? She's just great. We spent most of Saturday watching Arrested Development on tape while lounging on her couches, and had an absolute blast. What struck me the most about the weekend was how easily we got in contact with one another to make and execute plans. We would just call each other, pick people up, and within a few minutes, we'd all be ready for action. It's never going to be like that again. Ever. Oli's going to Vietnam and then god knows where after that. Grace wants to move to NY, but then again, she's got some crazy tie to UCLA, despite her immense dislike of the school. Lol! Eddie's coming up to PA, or maybe not, depending on how many times he decides to change his master plan. Tim is going to grad school down south. And Ray is already in Kansas City, far, far away ...

I remember when I was still in college, how Strathmore was a self-sufficent party. Oli has a picture that I think I took of the guys just jamming together. Eddie's on his trumpet and Oli and Tim are playing their guitars. I totally remember what they were trying to play that day: "La Bamba." (I was supposed to sing, but opted to spare them from that torture.) That's another thing that's so great about the good ol' days .... it never mattered what we were doing because it was always good times when we were all together. I miss them SOOOOO much. I miss being so comfortable with people that I can be stupid and drunk and a total dweeb without fear of judgement. I miss inappropriate conversations. I miss hearing Tim's guitar in the other room. I miss Ray-Ray's obliviousness and him wandering into my room to bug me. I miss Eddie's big bear hugs. I miss Oli's funny stories and the random pets he would bring home. I miss the bum's random crises (she called me this weekend and left a message about an incident with an eyelash curler). I miss Shay-Z's penchant for making friends at parties and knowing 85% of the people at any given gathering. I miss Gracie's morbid humor (That's not smiling; that's just showing teeth!). I miss blue/red plastic party cups and free alcohol. I miss sitting in the living room with a stein full of Becks while playing poker or just hanging out. I miss taking naps in the middle of the afternoon. I miss Asahi Ramen and making runs to K-town or Subway in the middle of the night. I miss lacksadaisical weekends and knowing that my friends are either in the other room or within walking distance.


The old apartment and Grace and Michael Nam, and Michael Nam's friend =P


Tonight, I didn't want to go to the airport. I didn't want to leave. But I had to. Because I have to make my way in the world and because I have to grow up despite how difficult it is -- and how reluctant I am -- to do so.

SIGH ...